entrepreneur identity thief

My identity thief’s surprise pizza party

Imagine my surprise last week when I got a letter in the mail from a bank congratulating me on my new 2020 Infiniti. Because I hadn’t bought a car.

Yes, someone stole my identity to actually purchase a car and drive away from the car lot, using my credit.

Let’s skip past the incredible shortsightedness someone must have to think that I wouldn’t notice after they gave my full contact information to the bank. Huh?

After many days of painstaking research and calls to creditors, I now know the name, phone number, and even the exact address of the person in Staten Island who did it. Then I compiled all the information and took it to my local precinct. At the end of my interview with the detective, she told me they would put the papers in a file and keep it as evidence in case the perpetrator’s name ever came up in a “real” crime.

And that was it.

Disgruntled, I ruminated on what else I could do, including the following scenarios:

    • Gather up dog poop from the street and mail it to him.  Pro: untraceable. Con: I would have to actually gather up dog poop and mail it.
    • Go onto USPS.com and forward his mail to the local S.I. police station. Pro: Police would have to go to his house to give it back to him. Imagine the scene! Con: That would be a federal offense. Oops.
    • Order pizza to be delivered to his house, to be paid in cash. Make it double anchovy/onion/green pepper with extra hot sauce. Do this once a week forever. Pro: Revenge. Con: Is there one? Just kidding. I wouldn’t do that to the pizza place.


The more time I spent thinking about it, the more I realized: there’s an even bigger con to all these scenarios: the diminishing return on investment of my energy expended to get revenge.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m seriously pissed. But I also have to ask myself, how much is it helping me to be pissed? Is it helping me to stay focused on the projects I’ve said are a priority for me, like my lead magnet? Is it helping my clients get more business? Will I have more peace and joy in my life?

That would be a resounding “No.”

As entrepreneurs, we are constantly in situations where crappy things could happen. If I wanted to, I could spend a lot of time disgruntled, upset, and focused on how things aren’t working. Recouping from such disturbing situations isn’t always easy. It’s understandable – and even OK – to feel that way – for a time. At a certain point, though, it’s time to refocus on what I can do now to move my business forward. It helps me to talk it over with my coach and other supportive neutral people like my amazing weekly writing group. (And this is exactly what I do for my clients as well.)

After all, there are a lot better things I can be doing than walking around my neighborhood picking up dog poop.

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