Liz Wolfe | creativity
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I ended 2013 uncharacteristically grumpy. I felt on the brink of tears or anger for much of the last couple of weeks of the year, without really being able to identify why. I found it depressing to look back at the year, knowing I didn’t accomplish all I wanted to, finding small solace in the few milestones that I could recollect. I’m not quite sure where I think I should be by now, but my feeling of dissatisfaction lingered and made me an unpleasant person to be around.

Last week, while my sister and I were having breakfast at my country house, a bear walked across my lawn. The movement in the bushes initially caught my eye, and at first I thought it was a deer. Then it stepped boldly and assuredly onto the open lawn, where it traipsed along seemingly without concern towards the woods on the other side. “Oh my God!” I breathed to Ruth Anne, “That’s a bear!” I jumped up and grabbed my camera, pulling off the lens cap and dropping it all in one motion. As the lens cap hit the wooden floor with a “chink,” the bear, which was at least 100 feet away, looked up in our direction. Yikes! Then, deciding he was in no immediate danger, he continued on his journey towards the woods. With a racing heart, I took a series of photos from the relative safety of our screened in porch.

When you think about your vision, do you think about what your life will look like in the future? Do you envision big houses, fancy cars, leisure time, committed relationships? Perhaps it’s a bestselling book, notoriety in a professional field, or a bank account constantly flowing with money that swims in your imagination. If your idea of your future is more low key, do you see yourself sitting around drinking coffee with your family and laughing? Going to school or learning to do something you always wanted to do?

Usually a New Year inspires us to make resolutions and usually those resolutions include actions we're going to take to get us more of what we want in life. However, this year, I decided I'm going to declare 2012 as the year of "letting go." Instead of working towards some goal, I'm going figuratively lean back, open my arms and let go of... Worrying about things that are outside my circle of control. The need to control. Self-doubt and the need for approval.