Liz Wolfe | procrastination
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"He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." Clarence Budington Kelland I saw this quote posted on Facebook on Father’s day. It reminded me of my father right away. He is a simple man, low maintenance, you might say, never wanted much more for himself or for us than to be happy, whatever that looked like. Although he did do some telling us how to live, actually, but the advice was always stemming from his love and care for us.

I have a friend whose daughter goes to a competitive middle school on the UWS. Since her daughter and my son are in the same grade, we sometimes commiserate about our experiences with our children, school and homework. Yesterday she came to me especially frustrated by her daughter, who has ADHD, and their homework situation. She had no way of knowing what the homework was because her daughter doesn’t know, and my friend is not allowed to email the teachers to ask – in fact she doesn’t even have access to their email addresses.

It starts innocently enough. I “just” want to go on to Facebook to check on one thing. When I finally emerge from my Facebook haze, 20 minutes has gone by. “Not a problem,” I think. “I still have enough time to get that report done that’s due this afternoon.” So I pull up my email inbox to find the report that I’m supposed to be working on when I notice an urgent email. “This will just take a minute,” I think again. “Let me respond now before this turns into a bigger problem.” Only, it turns into a bigger problem anyway. After another hour has gone by, and my deadline approaches, I kick in to full gear. “I work better under pressure,” I tell myself. Originally, I had envisioned the report to be a full-color bound manuscript, which was why I put it off until today to start it, but now I’m lucky if I can get it done and printed out on the black and white printer before the meeting starts. While it’s not the perfect manuscript I originally envisioned, it’s presentable.

Usually a New Year inspires us to make resolutions and usually those resolutions include actions we're going to take to get us more of what we want in life. However, this year, I decided I'm going to declare 2012 as the year of "letting go." Instead of working towards some goal, I'm going figuratively lean back, open my arms and let go of... Worrying about things that are outside my circle of control. The need to control. Self-doubt and the need for approval.